You dont realize it yet but in the next few minutes Im going to reveal to you a powerful key to unlocking the power of your subconscious mind to create an amazing and fulfilling life. Let me explain exactly what I mean with a true story. (Although, its a longer story than I intended it to be, I didnt want to short you on any of the details and deprive you of getting a true picture of how the key works.) When I was in college, I had four roommates, two were the complete opposite of each other. Greg Phillips was a tall, skinny, gangly, uncoordinated boy, with a face that perpetually broke out with acne. He also had big horse-teeth, guffawed, and chattered in an endless stream of clichs. The other roommate was also named Greg. Greg Garner was remarkably handsome, with a deep, contemplative, and serious nature. He had a passion for bodybuilding and the physique of a Greek statue. He also read Existential philosophy and periodically made profound observations about mundane events, transforming the profane into the sublime. In addition, Garner was a gifted artist with paintings that looked like photographs, almost perfect in every detail. Which Greg do you imagine turned out to be more successful in later years? If youre thinking Greg Phillips, then youre a contrarian, and if youre thinking Greg Garner, youre a logician. The contrarian wins. When I first met the two Gregs, I mentally voted Garner as the most likely to succeed. After all, he seemed to have it all: Classical beauty, an aesthetic physique, a keen intelligence, and a rare talent in art. Yet Phillips turned out to be the most amazing person Ive ever met. And in my mind, the word success is inextricably linked with my image of him. He succeeded almost effortlessly in everything that he did and was as close to the legendary Forrest Gump as one can ever hope to meet in real life. He barely studied, yet he never dipped below a 4.0 in 4 years. He was uncoordinated, yet he totally dominated the basketball team. He was not very eloquent, except when he stepped on stage at intercollegiate speech tournaments, and then you thought you were listening to Abe Lincoln making the Gettysburg Address. And, although he was not physically attractive, women adored him. In fact, Cheryl, a stunningly beautiful woman who was engaged when she first met him, even dumped her fianc to be with him. Later, they got married and raised a happy family...but thats a different story. Garner, meanwhile, possessed the Midas touch in reverse. Despite his obvious assets, nothing ever worked out for him. His only joy was painting, pumping iron alone in the school gym, and contemplating French, German and Russian literature about the futility of existence. Women shunned him and considered him boring and egotistical. He frequently skipped classes, hung out with only a few morose friends, and dropped out of college in his third year because of his low grades. What made the difference? Heres a clue before I tell you: When I visited Phillips home in San Diego on a spring vacation break, his room was overflowing with trophies, scrolls, certificates and plaques. They were for both academic as well as athletic achievements. He apologized, saying that he hadnt yet stored away the stuff from High School. Since he had come home with even more from our college, his little bedroom looked like a compressed hall-of-fame gallery. I also noticed that his parents adored him and treated him like a young god. In fact, so did everyone else. The front door was always opening as old friends from High School who had heard about his home town visit stopped by to see him. It was only years later, after I became trained as a psychologist and knew a little more about human behavior, that I managed to puzzle things out. It was simply this: Greg Phillips completely believed in himself. His self-confidence was unshakable. Since childhood his parents had instilled in him a belief in himself. They told him through their attitude toward him that he could do anything that he set his mind to achieve. And because he loved his parents, he became utterly successful to prove them right. It didnt really matter if he didnt have the obvious physical attributes and talents of someone like Garner...in his own mind, he was the best; and he proved it, over and over and over again. The last time I heard from him, six years ago, he was close to making his first million dollars. He said that he worked for national governments in Africa surveying underground water resources for indigenous villages. I learned something invaluable by observing the difference between the two Gregs and how it played out in their destinies over the years. From Phillips I learned that to power-up your subconscious mind to work for you rather than against you, you only need to have an attitude of total self-confidence and high self-esteem. Initially I used to believe that personality was fixed, an accident of your upbringing, but if there is one thing Ive learned in all my years in helping people to have a better life, its this: Its never too late to have a happy childhood and a great life. In working with former clients to improve their self-image and self-confidence, Ive witnessed them transition from zero to hero. Its not always about working harder or getting smarter. Sometimes its as simple as simply believing in your own true value. Youre then motivated to work harder, learn more, associate with the right people, and become super-competent. What we dont acquire through a perfect upbringing, we can still nurture within ourselves through a systematic process of improving our internal resources, inner dialogue, and inner image. In the final analysis, success is more about who you are inside than what you do. Actions springing up from a solid inner identity always succeed in the long run. |
