Have you ever been confused between those choices that are "selfish and those that boost your "self esteem"? You've probably heard yourself or others making a choice that was supposed to make you feel better about yourself, i.e. boost your self esteem, only to follow it up with a statement like "well I know that perhaps thats selfish, but its a good selfish, and I'm going to do it anyway" You see there's a deep confusion between these two concepts in the minds of many. Some may even wonder if they are even separable, correct? Well I would like to say that not only are they separable, they are diametrically opposite entities that actually originate from very different forces within us. To confuse them for each other only serves to severely undermine your happiness and good feelings about yourself and who you really are. Let's look closely at them. Selfishisness is often associated with negative feelings i.e. like you're taking something that doesn't belong to you, undeserving, feelings of low self worth, guilt, self loathing, disgust, nervousness or anxiety, fear of being found out or judged and generally makes you feel badly about yourself. That is it brings you self esteem down! Self Esteem on the other hand is associated with feelings of lightness, joy, liking one's self, inner peace, self worth, self acceptance, an I'm OK feeling, happiness, and self confidence, resilience, attractive to others and to one's self. This is the essence of loving one's self or having high self esteem. So why are they ever confused with each other? Well largely because when you carry within you negative memories where you may have been punished, abused, or judged harshly you then acquire a negative attitude towards yourself that gets stored deep within you. This creates an associated deep unmet need for self appreciation and self validation. You see, without having such validation or appreciation for one's self life would feel almost intolerable. One would feel totally unworthy, undeserving, depressed and the meaning in life would evaporate. These needs for self acceptance or validation will spur actions that attempt to restore one's overall self esteem. Unfortunately because the "need" is held in place, so to speak, by the negative memories I mentioned earlier, the individual will always feel unworthy, even if the needs are met. So even if they are met the individual cannot own them fully. That is because their early experience has imprinted them with an image of themselves as a person who is "not deserving" of such accolades. So when they are seemingly met the individual will always feel as if they are being "selfish" i.e. getting something that they don't deserve. Under such situations self esteem is severely limited and that only deepens the need for self acceptance and validation i.e. makes them more desperate to have them met. As the negative self image is still unconsciously active however a fulfillment of such needs will again be met with a stiff "punishment" i.e. feeling selfish. There is a way to get around this problem and release one from the inner bondage they are experiencing. That is to completely release the negative memories altogether. Interestingly this not only erases the need altogether it also automatically restores ones right to self appreciation and validation i.e. boosts their self esteem! This is possible with a new modality called the Mind Resonance Process(TM) (MRP) which I have written about extensively here. If you'd like to know more kindly visit the web link below where you can download a free audio experience of MRP. |
