Fun, that is. I've been thinking about this question for a few weeks as I've realized my fun quotient has been seriously lacking. There are two distinct memories I have of fun.

The first memory was from the day I learned about a "waverunner." For the uninitiated, it is like motorcycle but for the water. You hop on one of these babies, twist the throttle and you're off like a rocket. I was always curious about them.

One day, a friend invited me to a day outing where the hosts owned two of them and they lived near a beautiful lake. Well, say no more! I couldn't wait to try one out and the hosts were gracious enough to allow the guests to ride them. I remember gunning the motor and taking off for the horizon as the vehicle jumped happily over the waves. I let out a whoop of joy as I made large circles in the water and jumped the waves. It brought out the kid in me!

The second memory was when I first learned about "contra dancing." No, it isn't a special guerrilla dance for revolutionaries. It is a style of dance that resembles square dancing but instead of small circles, there are two lines facing one another. You have a partner you always dance with but alternate with your neighbor. Your neighbor always changes as the lines weave through one another.

There is much twirling about and laughter as the dancers turn and spin to a live band's fast music. It's hot and sweaty, but great exercise and also great fun. One fellow dancer, an attractive man, said to me, "You haven't stopped smiling since you got here!" I replied, "I am having so much fun!"

That's the kind of fun I'm talking about. Not simply an enjoyable dinner and conversation, but something that makes you feel like a kid again. I tried to explain this to my husband who is about as anti-dancing as you can get. I told him I was on the search for this type of fun but I didn't want him to feel left out. He asked why hiking in Hocking Hills wasn't fun. I pondered that for a moment.

I thoroughly enjoy hiking. It's great and I love to hike, especially with my husband. But there is something about movement that makes me laugh. As I age, I am realizing that there will come a day when I won't be able to move around as quickly as I can now, so perhaps I'm trying to enjoy it while I can.

There also is an element of silliness in hopping waves and twirling around on a dance floor while working up a sweat. Is it possible to have fun without being silly? Maybe.

From my experience in coaching single women over forty in finding love, I can confidently say that most of these women have forgotten how to have fun. Fun is something their children may have while they diligently chaperone a play date. But the rollicking, side-splitting laughter from being engaged in a fun activity is something they have to ponder. Hmm, some have said. It's been years. Yikes.

As singles pursue love, it's easy to forget about fun. Some may see this time as anything but fun: evaluating potential, asking questions, investigating possible matches, etc. It resembles a scientific expedition at times rather than an enjoyable excursion.

I still believe fun can be a secret weapon. Find your brand of fun. Whatever makes you laugh like a child is a good start. Then do it, and do it often. You'll be amazed. And it will look fantastic on you.