Whats the truth about love? Do you think relationships dont look the way they did in your parents generation? In factdoes it seem they dont even look the way they did yesterday? When you recognize the five truths about love, you will be on your way to a stronger, more lasting relationship.

Many people feel overwhelmed by the fact that we live in a time when the marriage rate is going down, and well over half of first marriages will end in divorce. The cohabitation rate is going up, and the majority of first-born children are now born to unmarried parents. Those are the statistical realities of relationships today.

Somewhere, somehow, some people eventually do find each other. Not only that, but relationships have more promise than ever before, since we have more information and awareness than people had in years past. Relationships have an opportunity to be based on more than just wanting to get married, have a family, and be like everyone else.

Here are the five truths about love in this modern age. These are the qualities that support lasting love:

1. Mutual chemistry

This has always been part of the glue that holds a couple together. If its not there, you cant make it happen, but when it is, it creates a compelling surge of emotion. However, if deeply held values are not honored, the chemistry can be transformed into rage and hostility. (Honesty, trust, and fidelity, are just a few values that must be present for most people.)

2. Equality

This means that both people carry their weight in the relationship. Each person has a high regard for the other. They do not seem out of balance as they bring their individual strengths to the partnership, sharing an equal intelligence, integrity, and responsibility.

3. Purpose

Every individual strives to discover what their purpose is and when they can share that with another, its what keeps the relationship authentic. Both people mutually support each other in finding and doing their true work. If they dont support one another in their work, they may sabotage each other and their relationship.

4. Strong self-worth

Feeling worthy cannot be separated from mutual love. Until a person exercises deep personal care, they cant take loving care of another. With the necessity of having strong self-respect comes the awareness and responsibility that everyone also has a past to clean up. When couples have conflict, it often stems from old emotional wounds that have left the person with some holes in their growth. A healthy person gets the help they need to defuse the problem. And a healthy couple is committed to working out the relationship, whatever it takes.

5. Listening

Listening to one another is essential. It takes continual practice and is based on compassion. Listening is more than hearing each others words. It encompasses also listening to and trusting your inner voice which will tell you when something is not quite right. In the new relationship, each person listens to themselves and to the other to make sure they are not just trying to be a "pleaser" because they do not want to jeopardize their connection. This kind of keeping the peace will eventually breed resentment and bitterness. This truth about love knows that there is something better than keeping the peaceit is called, deeply and lovingly hearing one another.

What are the main truths about love today? The truth is that we have a wider and braver landscape on which to build meaningful, enduring relationships. The truth about love isyou can find it, you get to keep it, and you deserve it.

Tonja Weimer

Tonja Evetts Weimer is a Master Certified singles relationship and life coach, speaker, syndicated columnist and author.

Tonja is a full time professional coach with a practice in Greenville, SC. She helps individuals, especially singles, re-craft their lives and find happiness and success in their career and relationships. Some of Tonja's professional activities include:

==> Syndicated singles relationship columnist, writing SAVVY DATING, a weekly column read by over a million readers in many U.S newspapers. Tonja's column addresses relationship and life issues of interest to all adults, but particularly to the over 110 million singles in the U.S. Tonja has also had articles published in New Woman, Hope, and House Beautiful magazines, and has won 3 Matrix Awards for her writing.

==> Motivational speaker, Tonja has been a keynote presenter at national and international conferences over the last 30 years.

==> Author of materials for educators and parents (7 books, six music albums and 2 videos), which have won 22 awards.

Some Speaking and Media Highlights:

==> Keynote speaker for 2004 Women?s Issues Network Conference, Sumter, SC.

==> Keynote speaker for 2002 Parents as Teachers International Conference, St. Louis, MO.

==> Keynote speaker for 1999 International Conference for Children & Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder.

==> Keynote speaker for 1998 European Education Conference, in Mannheim, Germany.

==> Keynote speaker in 35 U.S. states at educational conferences.

==> Presenter at the International Special Olympics in Notre Dame, at the request of Eunice Kennedy Shriver.

==> Created Space Songs for Children, at the request of NASA (album taken into space by astronauts three times.)

==> Appeared on CNN?s Showbiz Today and many other TV shows.

Educational and Professional Qualifications:

==> National Fellow (U.S. Dept. of Education.) M.A. in Human Development and Education, with an emphasis on creativity.

==> Master Certified Singles Relationship Coach, Relationship Coaching Institute.

==> Personal Life Coach, Graduate, Institute for Life Coach Training.

==> Member, International Coaching Federation