Well, it was probably winter - no, it was definitely winter. And, it was really freezing. I certainly remember the day especially because it was raining a lot. Did you ever see rain in winter? Its spectacular. And the breeze that was passing by definitely added a feeling of extra chill.

As usual, I was hanging out with friends after a basketball game. It was afternoon around 4p.m. We had a match, but actually, none of us felt like playing. There werent a few people surprisingly many people came to watch the game. Probably because Sameer was playing at least thats why all the girls came all the way to watch a usual basketball game. Oh okay, I didnt introduce you to Sameer yeah? Sameer is one of those good looking guys that you must have a second look at. A very fair complexion, and long straight highlighted hair which come down over his eyes, and an overall sharp outlook makes this macho guy a Greek God to every girl in town. Sameer got everything that a girl wants. A fancy convertible, lot of money to have a date anywhere he wants, one of those newest cell phone that has features that even our country cant support and of course popularity. Well, that day he was talking to us with a lot of attention, usually hes always busy with girls after the game. But thats when Sara saw him.

Sara my very old friend; back in school, we used to share our lunch. Our friendship was more than anything else. She came to see me playing, but she never regretted that day, because she got to meet the love of her life or at least thats how it was to her. Sara is one of those practical, fashionable modern teenagers of twenty-first century. Oh well, you guys are thinking what am I supposed to say now Sara is extremely pretty looking girl? Well, no. Thats not how it is. Sara is prettier than you can think of. When she walks down the lane, every guy stares at her for as long as possible; when she used to enter the class, the class would go silent just to look at her. You rarely see a girl naturally so pretty around you. But that was not the best part about her. Her beauty was nothing comparing to her heart.

In fact, I think Sara had the biggest heart in the world. She was never late in helping someone even though he or she was a complete stranger. I recall once Sara punched this guy in 6th grade guy just because he was teasing me. Oh, Im so stupid. I forgot to tell you people about me. Well, this will be boring. Im one of those guys who are as common as possible. In fact, there was really nothing special about me. I was serious about studies, but never did really good. That reminds me I used to help Sara a lot. And she never stopped thanking me for all that. I loved playing basketball. And thats how I made a lot of friends in life. But life never had a direction for me, and thats why Sara would always tell me to get serious I wish I really had listened to her. I saw a lot of cool people around, but it seemed so vague to me. What is the whole point of being so smart, when it sounds so stupid to me? May be thats why I never go to be elegant enough.

Sara pointed at Sameer, and asked me who he was.

Who? The tall guy? Thats Sameer!

Sameer? Okay cute guy

Yeah, I know! Wanna meet him? Hey Sameer! Dude can you give me a minute?

Sameer, this is my very old pal, Sara Sara, this is Sameer

Sara was even my friend when my sister was born. Well, thats back in 2nd grade actually. She used to come to study in my place. My mom taught both of us from childhood. So, it was almost like family. The day after my sister was born; she and her mom came to the hospital and brought all these gifts for her. I was happy for my sister, but I was really pissed at Sara. I got so pissed, that I didnt even talk to her. Sara got to know I was mad at her, because she didnt bring anything for me. She came and said sorry, I said I wont ever talk to her. She almost began to cry. So I couldnt help admitting I obviously will. We were kids back then, but we promised each other to be best friends forever.

How come you didnt tell me you know such a hot looking guy? Yeah, all the girls are crazy for him No wonder.

Sara got to know Sameer. Their friendship started from that very day. After almost two or three weeks, they started going out. Sameer asked Sara out, and the news was almost everywhere. Truly they looked like they were made for each other. They are so unique, so eye catching.

In my childhood, the best thing about my birthday was I get to decorate a room with balloon and all those stuffs. From days before I would plan for this. But, on the day of decoration, I would never be alone. Sara has to be there. She would come early in morning, and we two start blowing balloons and do all the decorations. I would never start without her. And it was the same for cutting the cake.

As long as Im not in Saras party, or Sara is not in mine, we would never cut the cake. There was once when she left home after decorating my place, and after waiting almost for an hour I cut the cake; Sara came late and when see saw I had already blown the candles without her she was really sad. She went home and cried that night. Her mom told my mom, and thats how I got to know. So the next day I had another birthday party where we cut the cake, blew the candles and even Sara was there. From those days even after we got older, Sara never forgot my birthday, and the first call I would get is from Sara on my ever birthday. I wasnt any less; I would always mark the date on calendar and always make sure I get to wish her on her birthday as well. We would not tell each other before, just to check if we do really remember each others birthdays.

Saras mom doesnt really let her out with too many friends. But this one guy she would trust is me. And thats why I was the only one who could help her. Sameer wanted Sara to always make it for long time, and she had trouble doing so. So, most of the times I had to take her with me, and make her meet Sameer. Only thing that I was scared about was her mom to suspect she was going out with me. When I used to take her to Sameer, she would ask me a million times if shes looking okay. I used to find that so weird, because I never recalled a day when she was not looking okay. Sara never wanted to be late, because Sameer hated to wait. But once she was really tardy. It was actually because of me. I didnt have a car, and that day I couldnt find anything on time to pick Sara up. So I was almost half an hour late, moreover, the traffic made it worse. Sameer left, and later they had a huge fight. I felt so guilty because it was for me. Sara called me at night the same day, and told me how irresponsible I was, and because of me, shes going through all this. Sameer stopped talking to her for a few days; so I decided to talk to Sameer and clarify everything myself.

On 7th grade, Sara and I got separated because we both went to different sections. So I didnt have anyone to share my lunch with. But, you know Sara, she always figures something out. So we decided in break time wed always meet in one specific place. I couldnt believe classes can get so boring without a good friend. So I couldnt wait to hear the bell for the break time every single day in my class. We would meet precisely at 11-05am. And both of us always used to rush as soon as the bell rang. Sara once got a detention for being talkative in class and she had to stay inside the class at the break time for one entire week. That was one of the times, I felt really sad. I never felt so alone before, and I knew what her closeness meant to me. I dont know how Sara used to feel when she didnt get to talk to me, but then again, after the school finished, everyday she would meet me for at least 5 minutes and we had so much to talk about at the end of the day. Although we were in separate sections, but we would talk about what happened in school all day. Sometimes I wouldnt even care what she is saying, as long as I could feel her presence, I always used to be so blissful to see her. Maybe it was all because of her charisma.

Sameer accepted my confession. But that wasnt everything. Sameer didnt like Sara mixing with me so much. He had a feeling, I know her more than anyone, and he couldnt stand it. I didnt know all that; in fact I didnt even know what Sameer told Sara that night; but I could guess, when I had her phone call. It was around 3a.m. and I really dont expect calls that late at night; so I was surprised to see Sara calling me.

You awake?

Well, I am now! So since when did you start missing me at 3 oclock in the morning?

Funny! Listen, get serious, I need to talk about some stuffs with you

Okay, and I have this feeling its not good

Umm well, I dont know how to put this, but well Sameer doesnt want me to talk to you anymore

I really cant recall what she said after that. But well, she decided that if Sameer determined that, she could do that much for him. Nevertheless, she loves him, so Sameer has the rights, he must have the importance. Well, what can I say? I thanked her for being free with me, and to let me know all this. So I determined to keep my distance. But I didnt think that moment what I have really decided I didnt give it a thought how hard it could be without a person who has been my best friend since childhood.

Saras dad bought her a car when she was in 10th grade, and she learned to drive. Its kind of funny, but I learnt to drive from her. Every evening she would take me with her, and showed me how to drive. I loved it. My dad cant afford me a car, but Sara knew how much crazy I was about cars from my childhood. Tiny little cars were my birthday gift that I always got from her when I was a kid. And when I used to hold the steering of her, I could feel the electricity passing through my body. Nothing was more exciting to me, than to drive, and this dream could never come true without her. Saras parents knew that she was training me how to drive, so even though I dent her car a few times, her dad was okay with it. In fact, he would rather scream at Sara that she is not a good instructor.

I called to wish Sara on her birthday, and she invited me to come at her place. She even added that, she asked Sameer, and hes okay with it; so I dont have to be anxious. Saras favorite gift was chocolates. As always, I took some for her. This was the first time, I was going to meet her, and was thinking if I look all right. Sara now has a lot of friends; most of them are unknown to me. I figured they were Sameers friends. Sara came to me as she saw me. It was months since I saw her last, and couldnt take my eyes off her. She seemed like more attractive to me. She showed me her new cell phone that Sameer gave her as a birthday gift, its made of Titanium. She was really excited, and storing all the numbers. Well, I was asked for number too, but then Sara recalled I dont carry one. Everyone was telling each other, how sweet Sameer was, and Sara must be really proud to have him. I kind of felt introverted showing her I got only chocolates for her, so I left that with the other gifts on table, so she can have a look at that later herself. Although she seemed really busy, I had a chance to talk to her. So I asked how come she forgot to wish me on my last birthday.

Oh cmon were not kids anymore! You know Ive been a bit busy. And its not like I forgot, but I was out with Sameer till very late at night, so couldnt manage to call! Later, I thought youd figure, so didnt bother. Im sorry though

Well, I could understand. So I smiled back at her saying, Thats okay

Oh, I almost forgot my story. So where was I? Oh yeah, a really freezing winter morning. Well, I was out for an exam that I was having in my university. I was walking my way back home, and I just noticed this red sports car in front of my house. You know Im always crazy about cars, so I ran to it. Its the hottest BMW Z-4. I didnt expect to see one on Dhaka; but more than that what concerned me is what is it doing in front of my house? So I rushed inside my house, and my mom told me that Sara and Sameer were here. I ran to the living room. Sara turned back hearing my footsteps,

Hey! Where have you been busy man?

Oh cmon, I went to the university what you forgot that?

Hmm big boy!

She kept smiling and came close to me.

I have not seen her so much glad for a very long time, so I was thinking what could be the reason.

So here it is finally!

She handed me a very trendy invitation card.

What is it? Some big news?

Bigger than you can think! - Sameer and I are getting married!

Oh my god - really? That is so awesome!

They stayed for a few more minutes; she said she will be getting married to Sameer in a month. And also decided to move to Sheffield, a city in Northern England; Sameers dad has some business there which Sameer will now take care of. Sara was sad when she was leaving, she said she would come to talk tome the next evening, as we have become so far apart.

Did I tell you about our favorite place? It was our rooftop, from where we could see the entire sky. And thats where I was with her, that night. Well, that night was my big chance and all I did was just sit there with her watching the stars and talking about what I was going to do and what she was going to do. I looked into her eyes and listened to her talking about what her dream was. How she wanted to get married and settle down. She said how she wanted to be complete and successful. All I could do was to tell her my dream and cuddle next to her. She went home and I didn't tell her how I was feeling. I thought of it that night and figured I was just a friend. All through school life and even through all these days we're always together and of course, I thought of it as being friends. But I knew that I didnt even want to confess to myself that deep inside that I really felt differently.

I wanted to tell her so badly that I loved her but I was too scared and frightened. I let my feelings go; I didnt know if I should be happy that I got her as a friend in my life, or should I be sad if thats all I had. I know that I could never be with her and that we could only be friends. I remembered the good times that we had together. Today, I can only use these words to express what was really in my heart, things that I could never tell her. Maybe real love is only felt when you lose that someone that you love more than yourself. Its a long road in front of me, and I have to face it alone, the hand that I used to hold, wont be there anymore. I always realized she is there, standing right behind, only knowing, she is not so far behind. I wish tonight, that I was in her arms, and she was telling me we'd always be alright.

The boundaries between friendship and love is defined by such credibility that I did not have; but then again was it really my fault that I fell in love?

I never realized how to live on myself, until that night. I loved her like no other person; may be I didnt want much of anything; but, the one thing I needed from her was for her to always be there. The hardest thing to do for me was to be beside her all the time, looking at her knowing that she wont ever be mine.

Remember me when you are gone, far to the beyond, away from me. A journey I cannot go with you on, even though you are going for good. I wish I could be at Sameers place that day, I wish I never had to let you go. I have tried for tears not to fall from my eyes, at least not in front of you. Keep alive the beautiful times we share, and take it to heart that my love for you is ever sure.