Banjo lessons are a lot tougher than I thought. Id been taking these online banjo lessons for months now you know, downloading videos of this guy strumming his banjo and trying to follow along, stroking that banjo to my hearts content but when my first actual, person-to-person banjo lesson came, I felt like I was all thumbs. It was a disaster.

I admit that I was a bit of a slacker following those downloaded video lessons, mostly doing only the lessons and the songs that interested me and skipping the rest. But still, I actually thought I was making great progress. Then I had to take those real lessons and all my illusions were shattered.

I was really and thoroughly disappointed with my first actual banjo lesson. Maybe it was because I was trying to show off and display to my instructor my hard-earned banjo-playing skills. Or maybe I was nervous. All I know is, the instructor took one look at me and I immediately missed a chord. Admittedly, I have absolutely zero experience in musical instruments and this was the first time I actually played for someone. But I was always a relaxed and competent public speaker so crowds (even a crowd of one) shouldnt faze me. I thought playing the banjo would be a breeze. After all, Id been practicing for months, right? Wrong. It was just horrible.

Just the thought of playing in front of my banjo instructor still rattles me. Now, Im puzzled as to how I can actually learn anything from my banjo lessons if I cant even play in front of my teacher. Hes nice and accommodating, so its not a clash of personalities at all. Not to mention the fact that he plays the banjo great and I gain much just by watching him play. And yet, I have to ask myself, will I sound any differently when my next lesson comes around?

he big question in my head is, how will I know if Im making any progress if I cant play in front of him? In fact, how will I even know if I've learned anything from one banjo lesson to the next? I realize theres no way of getting around it, but I still cant will myself to play in front of him. For now, Im going to start recording my banjo playing and let him hear it. But even with that, it might still be hard to play, knowing that Im actually still playing for him. I only hope that things will get better eventually.