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Index Page » People & Communities » Humor & Pastime
 

Expert of Experts: Things HE Didn't Tell Neale About Creation

 

DK: Okay. I ran into a Buddy of mine. We grew up together. I asked him. I said, Hey, Geneyou ever think about this God thing? He grew up in an agnatic family

Thats ag-nos-tic. A-G-N-O-S-T-I-C.

DK: Pardon me, Lord, but thats pretty darn embarrassing! I mean, you know this is going right out to people and I really dont think I need the Mover of the Universe to draw attention to what a lousy speller I am, let alone phonetically speaking it and then spelling it out for me. Before you started getting my fingers in this controlled-twitching situation, I was merrily going along building a case for people to turn to me as the expert. Now, its all about you.

Same thing.

DK: Please! Gimme a break!

Are you doing anything materially different now than you were doing before I showed up? Better yet, what were you doing before this all began?

DK: I was writing.

Any difference?

DK: I dont have to use spell-check any more?

If you wont be honest and write it, I will: (snottily!)

DK: Perfectionist!

Its called transparency, Drew. Let people see who you are.

DK: Ill get locked up!

For spelling?

DK: Nofor, forfor sitting at a computer arguing with my own fingers. For thinking I might be cooler than everyone else because I think you are me. For having the balls to try and convince the world that this Drew Kittinger guy is so expert his only consultant is the Creator. Im trying to fit my hand into a glove that wont fit and Im gonna go down for it.

O.J. didnt.

DK: That was such a transparent set up we should both be ashamed!

That never serves anybody.

DK: Why do you get all the good lines?

Its a higher-self thing.

DK: That reminds mesafety break, be right back Okay, so Im ashamed. You ashamed?

All three of us are.

DK: All three?

Never mindNo, Drew, you shouldnt be ashamed.

DK: No, you wait a minuteyoure rounding on me! Gods doing a slimy two-step! HeOkay, She s trying to do an end run around this. No way, Babythis is important. I want to know. What do you mean all three of us?

You dont think for a minute that even were alone, do you?

DK: I hear the theme from the Twilight Zone coming, and Im not too happy about it.

Theres something even bigger than us. A Divine Intelligence that created us.

DK: Im not quite sure I get that.

I am your creation. You are my creation. We would not be here together were we not, by some miracle, created to be together, to share these moments together, to share what comes of these moments together with the world, but there is something even greater than us that has brought us into reality. We are a thought realized.

DW: Somebody Elses thought?

On the button!

DW: and then, Somebody thought up the thought that thought the thought that thought us up. And we are now thinking up thoughts that will become others thoughts that will get realized. So all we are is Gods being thought up by Gods who were thought up by Gods who were thought up by Gods.

Thats about the size of it.

DW: Boy! Girl! This God shit never ends!

Spread the Word!

Author: Drew Kittinger
 
Author Bio:

Drew Kittinger

Drew Kittinger, ShK (School of hard Knocks) consults consultants who want to consult consultants. This is not as easy as it may seem. Consultants are typically so sure they've got it figured out, they barely listen to themselves, let alone others.

So, he'll settle to be that "still, small voice" for the consulting and entrepreneurial world until someone actually listens to him, follows his instructions, gets rich and then becomes his Patron in which case, he'll shut up and let you get on with your work..

This article can be searched using: funny news, funny news stories, funny news articles, funny news headlines, current funny news
 
 
 

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