Sometimes, finding help for yourself can be difficult. You may want to remain strong for your significant other, or you may not want to out them. However, if you need help, then you need to make sure that you are getting it. You may want to approach people talking about a friend without being specific on the details. You might also find it useful to approach the issue with a hotline. These are always anonymous and the people that you can talk with there are going to be able to answer questions and make suggestions for both you and your partner. If your doctor is someone that you have a close relationship with, then you can talk with them as well, to get advice. However, remember that your doctor is not a psychiatrist or therapist and probably does not have the advanced training to give all the specific help that you might need. They might instead refer you to someone else.

You can also ask your significant other how much they are comfortable with you talking about. Make sure that they know how and why you want to talk to someone and, if possible, who. Then stress that this does not signal a problem with the relationship, but just that you need to be able to talk to a neutral third party about issues that you have, that are becoming present in your life. If they are okay with you talking to a friend, then you can do that. If they would rather you talk to a therapist, ask if they are okay with you speaking to their therapist. This would allow the therapist to help treat the boyfriend or girlfriend, by directing the therapy towards fixing problems that are causing issues in the relationship. By explaining it that way, it might be more palatable. However, be careful about paranoia, because if it is present, it might be a very strong negative motivation.